She stood there still, under the shower hoping that it would rejuvenate her to some extent. She tried to feel the cold water running down, through her entire body. She wished, they could seep inside her skin and cool down her boiling hot blood. She couldn’t gauge the time she killed standing there and was dead tired to close the shower. She took the hanging towel, wrapped herself with it and slowly pushed herself outside, to her bed.
She sat there in the bed and looked herself in the mirror opposite to her. The image in the mirror resembled a person who’s exhausted, both physically and mentally. So, she tied up her hair, checked herself out again hoping that it would make a difference. She even started wondering whether the cold shower had made any change. That’s when she realized that her towel is losing its hold and is slowly secluding itself from her. The voice in her mind yelled to clutch the towel but her hands were not responding to that voice. She chuckled at the thought that even the towel is running away from her. Soon that chuckle turned into a large agonising cry.
The shower she had felt ages ago as she saw herself breaking down in front of the mirror, naked. She hid her face with her hands as she doesn’t want that picture in her head. She could feel that ache in her heart again, followed by that huge lump in her throat. She wondered how could movies and books romanticize heartbreaks as she couldn’t find anything good about them. They’re dark ugly and makes you realize how vulnerable you’re, she thought. She was annoyed mostly because heartbreaks showed her how fragile she was and how she had let someone have this scary amount of control over her. She reflected back on the course of time when did she ever gave that power to someone?
She thought the whole point of investing so much in a relationship and then chucking it away is the stupidest thing mankind ever came up with. She felt people lose some part of themselves in each relationship. Because she was sure that she lost a major part of herself in this past relationship. A part she could never ever get back. A part she could never ever claim to be hers. A part that is long gone now. The ache started again complemented by the heavy lump and the rolling tears.
She then remembered this is not the first time she had broken down like this. And she had come up and found the zeal in her life, time and again. Maybe that is why this happens, she thought. Maybe she was supposed to lose a part of herself. Maybe the scars are indeed necessary to find herself in this ordeal; for she will trust again, she will break down again and surely will grow again too.
PC: Amanda Oleander Art
